Good morning and happy Monday to everyone!
When I got to work this morning, a bit grumpy with a case of
the Mondays, my co-worker came up to me and said that she had a dream about
me. In this dream I was sitting with my
head hung low and I was sad because I had to make a decision that I did not
want to make. Hearing her dream really
gave me chills because I think there have been a lot of decisions I have been
facing lately. Brandon and I have been
planning on moving to a larger city, I've been thinking about getting a
different job, I've been struggling with the idea of ‘religion’ etc. With each big decision comes a whole other
side of life that you leave behind and a whole hell of a lot of self doubt if
you’re anything like me.
After talking to several people, and reading other blogs
that deal with the same issues I think it would benefit everyone to address the
elephant in the room. Self doubt is this
crippling thing that plagues lots and lots of people, and sometimes for no
reason. It’s the voice in the back of your head that tells you that you aren't
good enough or that you aren't smart enough or talented enough or just not
enough of something to accomplish what you are hoping for. I mean, I don’t care who you are or how
confident you are- you have these thoughts at least every now and then. I am a very secure person and you would never
think that I struggle with self doubt in many aspects of my life. I’m not skinny enough, I’m not a good enough
daughter or sister, I’m not motivated enough, I’m not financially responsible
enough, I don’t work hard enough, I’m too old to still be acting this way and I
constantly struggle with being a good enough girlfriend. I can say that I honestly think that all of
those thoughts are equally as motivating as they are poisonous. But the real trick is figuring out how to
turn those potentially destructive thoughts into inspiration.
When these thoughts begin to creep up, or more like
completely take over, it can cause anxiety that is absolutely exhausting. I have been dealing with such thoughts (and I
know I’m not the only one) lately and whether it is related to the shift in
seasons or the time change where it is dark by like 6 pm it has been taking up
too much space in my head. A fight with a loved one, a bad remark from a
co-worker or a boss, a concerned look from a relative or an unsatisfying look
in the mirror can send you over the edge.
Sometimes it takes a slight breakdown to realize that something needs to
change. I am speaking not only about my
own life but also on behalf of several people who have expressed certain
similar feelings here recently. So this
is my advice:
Pause. Breathe. Remember who you are and how you got to
where you are today. It hasn't always
been sunshine and rainbows leading up to right now. It doesn't matter how bad things are right now they will get better, even if
they get worse first.
Reach out. Talk to
someone about how you’re feeling no matter how proud you are. You can’t deal with everything by yourself,
and I recently found that my very best friend was dealing with very similar
matters and a mere lunch date with good conversations made me ten times better.
Don’t compare yourself to ANYONE else. As hard as that seems, this can often be one
of the biggest drivers of self doubt.
When you look at someone else your same age or from your same school
that is doing better than you or who is better off you are putting yourself
below them and that’s wrong. They are on
a completely different path, and what you may see as better off is really just
different. Don’t compare, just aspire. See what you want and go after it, the only
thing stopping you is yourself. It’s
great to have role models and people that inspire you, but don’t see yourself
as their inferior, just realize they are in a different place in life than
you. You will be there soon if you work
towards that.
Don’t listen to your self doubt monster. It is your worst enemy and the biggest
prevention of creativity and positivity and love. You can’t be inspired to create or to express
yourself when you don’t actually believe that you can. There is no failure where there was genuine
effort. This life is yours to try and to
fall and to learn and to make mistakes and that’s perfectly normal, what isn't normal
is preventing yourself from succeeding because you’re scared or self
doubting. You are beautiful, you are
able and with a little desire you can be anything you want to be. Now, please for the both of us, let’s all
start believing this.
As cheesy and unlike me as this post is, sometimes you have
to cross your own boundaries and do things you don’t want to in order to change
where you are… Stop walking down that beaten path and try something new. Push yourself. Fight that monster within.
